Many of my clients come to me feeling dejected and down about the state of their lives, and they wonder why they can’t seem to achieve their personal and/or professional goals. Reshaping and reframing a better sense of self could lead to greater success in all areas of life, and one way to achieve that transformation is through developing Atomic Habits.
Many of my clients come to me feeling frustrated at the lack of balance in their lives. That common theme can affect any of us at different points in our lives, and it can feel completely overwhelming to devote equal time or energy to all areas of life. However, a realistic work-life balance is not about equal division of resources – it’s much more about taking a mindful approach to how you spend your time and where you invest your precious energy.
When we inevitably experience loss or disappointment in life, we of course feel the sting and pain of these moments. Unfortunately, living a full human life means learning to cope with challenges and loss. Growing from adversity, rather than focusing only on the pain, gives us an opportunity to develop an even more well-rounded existence.
Throughout the pandemic lockdown, people have been allowed to pursue outdoor recreation as part of their daily activities. Because of the many benefits of time outside, leaders have deemed it “essential” to Americans’ physical and mental health. In my area of Denver, I have noticed a marked increase in people biking, hiking, walking and enjoying water sports.
For the past several months, we have collectively experienced unprecedented changes and anxiety related to the coronavirus pandemic. Many of us have worried about what’s next and how to plan for the future. In all stages of life, whether pandemic-related or otherwise, coping with uncertainty allows us to enjoy the here and now as we also move forward.
Many of the individuals who come to me for therapy express dismay and frustration with our society’s current climate of mistrust and use of attack language. That unhealthy pattern of dialogue can show up in various aspects of our lives: online, at work and in personal relationships. The good news is that many people have begun to seek a better way, and nonviolent communication offers one avenue for creating an atmosphere of trust and respect.
The word narcissism has roots in Greek mythology. Named after Narcissus, a handsome man who fell so much in love with his own reflection in a pool of water that not even a beautiful mountain nymph could capture his attention. Today, people use the term casually to describe egocentric and self-absorbed people, but the effects of narcissism extend far beyond vanity.
Before we dive into the importance of empathy and validation in intimate relationships, take a moment to recall the way you viewed your partner early in your relationship. Think beyond just the physical attraction you felt and try to remember the reasons you wanted to spend time with this new person in your life.
During times of high conflict, spouses sometimes turn to a third party – a family member, friend or even a child – as a means of alleviating tension. Known in therapy as triangulation, these relationship triangles can create a false sense of peace for one or both parties, but ultimately stand in the way of the couple addressing issues together in a healthy way.
Do the relationships in your life – with your partner, family, friends and coworkers – currently center around conflict and misunderstanding? While you cannot control the other people in your life, you can control how you respond during interactions.
We all feel anger from time to time, and occasionally we blow up and let that anger out. Every normal and healthy adult experiences a full range of human emotions, even the unpleasant ones like anger.
Known as dichotomous thinking in psychology circles, black and white thinking can shape how a person views and interacts with the world. The impact can sometimes have devastating effects on one’s relationships, work life and more.
We’re right in the height of the holiday season, a time of year that seems to amplify conflict in many relationships. However, there are ways to ease tension with all the important people in your life throughout the year, and compromise in relationships can be a great place to start.
I recently wrote an article on the mental health benefits of forgiveness for the Anxiety Relief Project, a website with resources for people suffering from anxiety. In the article I talk about what it means to forgive, forgiving others, and forgiving yourself.
It sounds simple on the surface, but research shows how treating others with kindness can have a profound impact on both the receiver and the giver. I recently wrote an article on this topic for the Anxiety Relief Project, a website with resources for people suffering from anxiety. In the article I talk about about how acts of kindness can boost your mood and reduce anxiety.
In my last article, I discussed the importance of seeking help for depression and letting go of the stigma that surrounds it. In fact, an astounding 80 to 90 percent of people who do seek help show improvement in their symptoms. In addition to seeking professional help there are a number of ways you can help yourself through depression.
The deaths of two prominent celebrities in June, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, have left many people with more questions than answers. These two wildly successful people both battled depression, and they both ultimately took their own lives. In the aftermath of these losses, more people have begun to open up about the sometimes debilitating condition that is depression, and it’s becoming clear that we need to drop the depression stigma.
Have you ever been so absorbed in an activity or project that time seemed to stop? Where you felt so happily lost in something that you worked, played, or created for hours on end? That experience is something experts call “flow,” and finding flow can help you tap into a greater sense of meaning, purpose, and even happiness.
When faced with stress or sadness, do you turn to alcohol, tobacco or other substances for a quick, feel-good boost? Have you thought about what that could be doing to your physical and mental health? As an alternative, you could use the mental benefits of exercise to help you feel calmer and happier, but in a healthy way.
We live in a society that values people who strive for something. Hard work, dedication, perseverance and perfectionism garner attention and praise. But what happens when perfectionism and rumination take a darker turn? Striving to be better – or the best – comes at a cost for many people.
At the beginning of relationships, many couples feel nothing but hope and bliss. You want that feeling to last forever, but in reality, you don’t always feel blissful about your partner. However, there are ways to deepen your connection and remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place. John Gottman, Ph.D., developed Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work to help guide couples. While his research and language are mostly formulated around a marriage between a man and woman, which may be offensive to some people as it does not address same sex couples and/or people who are not married, I think his ideas can still be very helpful for all couples.
Dr. Gary Chapman developed the idea of the 5 Love Languages and wrote about them in his 1995 book of the same name. Since then, the idea has been adapted for children, teens and even the workplace. There’s a reason Chapman’s work on this topic has endured for more than 20 years: the love languages focus on understanding how to best honor your partner, how to show each other love in meaningful ways and how to foster deeper communication.
I recently joined the provider network for a local cause, The Second Wind Fund, a non-profit organization dedicated to understanding and preventing teen suicide. While it is a painful and difficult topic, parents and caregivers need to be aware of the risks and warning signs.
Divorce is one of the most challenging changes any family can face. Divorcing parents, especially, worry about how that change will affect their children. While divorce is painful for kids, evidence shows that there is also a lot of hope when it comes to children and divorce.
Caring for a loved one with a disability can often become more challenging than anticipated. Caregiving is more than a full-time job, and all the love in the world is often not enough. Sometimes, in-home care is the right answer, but there are a number of reasons to consider a residential facility instead. I recently wrote a piece on this topic for 1800wheelchair.com, a website with resources for people with physical disabilities.
Each human being on this planet will experience grief and loss in his or her lifetime. Loss can range from the death of a loved one or pet to a parting of ways with a friend or lover. Even losing a job can result in deep feelings of loss and grief. These feelings are a normal part of the human experience, but the grief process can unexpectedly knock even the strongest among us to our knees.
Caregiver mental health can suffer due to lack of support and resources. Caregivers are more prone to depression, anxiety and substance abuse, and more than 44 million Americans provide care to loved ones. I recently wrote a piece on caregiver mental health for 1800wheelchair.com, a website with resources for people with physical disabilities.
I recently wrote a short article on how these two things are connected. Sometimes small adjustments in our behavior can result in big changes in how we feel.
The second in our series on therapy approaches highlights Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). As one of several approaches I use in my practice, EFT can be especially beneficial for couples who are struggling with communication issues.
Strong emotions are a fact of life as a human. Like it or not, we are emotional beings, driven by parts of the brain that manage emotional processes, memory, habits and more. Although emotions can often feel as overwhelming as ocean waves crashing over you, it is possible to develop your emotional resilience as a powerful life skill. That resilience, in turn, can help you reduce cravings and change other behaviors that have a negative impact on your life.
New Year’s resolutions often get a bad rap – and for good reason: According to statistics, only about 8 percent of people who make resolutions achieve them (source: StatisticBrain.com, citing Journal of Clinical Psychology). So, what goes into identifying goals, such as resolutions, and what are the barriers to success?
One common myth about couples’ therapy is that partners only seek it out when their marriage or long-term relationship is in serious trouble. However, some of the couples I see are simply looking for ways to break negative patterns that have developed in their marriage. One of the key ways to create more positive interactions in relationships is by working on your listening skills.
The ancient concept and practice of mindfulness has gained traction in recent years in mainstream circles. The media is taking note as researchers have shown that mindfulness practices may impact up to eight regions of the brain that control emotion, attention, memory, and more.
Periodically, I will use this space to provide an overview of the different psychotherapy theories I use in my practice. Depending on your circumstances and needs, I may suggest a specific approach, and it can be helpful to understand the “why?” behind each theory. Today, we will discuss Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
Whether you have a brand-new student attending preschool or Kindergarten for the first time or teens coping with college-prep courses, back-to-school time can be full of stress.
In your marriage or long-term relationship, do you often feel like you’re repeating versions of the same argument over and over again? If so, here are some ideas to help you break old patterns to improve your relationship!
Negative thinking is one of the most common roadblocks, and many people don’t even realize just how much negativity has taken over their lives. In individual therapy, I strive to help people identify and overcome barriers that are preventing them from living their best lives.
Welcome to the first in a series of features designed to help you reflect on what you want out of your life. I invite you to join me as we explore topics from relationships to goal-setting and discuss ways to create positive change in your own life.