We all feel anger from time to time, and occasionally we blow up and let that anger out. Every normal and healthy adult experiences a full range of human emotions, even the unpleasant ones like anger.
Known as dichotomous thinking in psychology circles, black and white thinking can shape how a person views and interacts with the world. The impact can sometimes have devastating effects on one’s relationships, work life and more.
We’re right in the height of the holiday season, a time of year that seems to amplify conflict in many relationships. However, there are ways to ease tension with all the important people in your life throughout the year, and compromise in relationships can be a great place to start.
At the beginning of relationships, many couples feel nothing but hope and bliss. You want that feeling to last forever, but in reality, you don’t always feel blissful about your partner. However, there are ways to deepen your connection and remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place. John Gottman, Ph.D., developed Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work to help guide couples. While his research and language are mostly formulated around a marriage between a man and woman, which may be offensive to some people as it does not address same sex couples and/or people who are not married, I think his ideas can still be very helpful for all couples.
Dr. Gary Chapman developed the idea of the 5 Love Languages and wrote about them in his 1995 book of the same name. Since then, the idea has been adapted for children, teens and even the workplace. There’s a reason Chapman’s work on this topic has endured for more than 20 years: the love languages focus on understanding how to best honor your partner, how to show each other love in meaningful ways and how to foster deeper communication.
The second in our series on therapy approaches highlights Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). As one of several approaches I use in my practice, EFT can be especially beneficial for couples who are struggling with communication issues.
One common myth about couples’ therapy is that partners only seek it out when their marriage or long-term relationship is in serious trouble. However, some of the couples I see are simply looking for ways to break negative patterns that have developed in their marriage. One of the key ways to create more positive interactions in relationships is by working on your listening skills.
In your marriage or long-term relationship, do you often feel like you’re repeating versions of the same argument over and over again? If so, here are some ideas to help you break old patterns to improve your relationship!
Welcome to the first in a series of features designed to help you reflect on what you want out of your life. I invite you to join me as we explore topics from relationships to goal-setting and discuss ways to create positive change in your own life.